Red Box Virtual Office Newsletter - December 2007
Coping while your VA puts her feet up
It is Christmas time, and even your VA may want a few days off to spend time with her family and friends. I know I do. I may not be taking off for some winter sun, or heading for the ski slopes, but I will be taking some well earned 'time out' from Red Box.
If your VA is taking time off and you're not shutting down the office to take some well deserved time yourself, and you don't have your own collection of Santa's helpers around, here are some ideas to help you through this tough time:
1. Plan Ahead.
If your VA is as great as you think she is, your VA has already told you that she's going to be taking some time off.
2. List Activities.
List all the activities that your VA carries out for you and which ones NEED to be managed while she is away. Consider what you can do yourself and what will need to be outsourced.
3. Follow Up on Recommendations.
If there are any activities that you can't carry out yourself, your VA will have others that you can call on for back up. Use them!
4. Start Early.
This means preparation! Don't leave it until the 11th hour when your VA is packing her bags for that winter sun. Take responsibility now for those things that need to be done so that you know you can manage them and find help if you're overwhelmed.
How to spot those that will potentially ruin your fun!
You love your family but you don't like their meddling ways - you want to spend time with the people you love but you wish they would have a Christmas personality transplant. Every family has a relative best kept at a distance and there are those that you stand only because - blood is thicker than water. It's not just family but sometimes it's the people they married that cause the greatest distress. With a little planning, surviving the misery of family get-togethers is possible.
Forget the past and focus on the present and by using certain strategies you'll be able to act in a way that allows you to cut down on the usual hassle. The good news is you do not have to like someone for these strategies to work.
The Spoiler
If you know that a certain person is likely to get drunk, have a fight or insult someone because this happens frequently at family events it is important to set the ground-rules before the day itself. If your family member is known to be a spoiler of events make sure you speak to the person before he or she comes. The next step is to point out the behaviour that you and others find difficult ("I think you tend to drink a bit too much and it has spoilt the day a few times"). The important thing is that if you do not set any boundaries around someone else's behaviour you are, in effect, giving him the message that his behaviour is acceptable.
The Bulldozer
You can always recognise a Bulldozer as he or she issues orders and total compliance is expected. This person will flatten you while she tries to take control of the situation. He or she does not listen and can seem a bit of a bully. When dealing with a Bulldozer you need to be firm and in psychological terms you "match" her body language. The last thing you should do is get into an argument with this person as you will not win it and stick to the point.
The Critic
The critic can find a way of complaining about anything and everything and whatever you do it will never be good enough as she has a habit of chopping and changing her mind. The first thing to remember is not to take what they say personally otherwise you will end up feeling bad about yourself and frustrated. These people want recognition and instead of going about it in the normal way they try to get attention through their criticism. A good way of dealing with critics is to agree with them - it really throws them. If you are really clever you can head a critic off at the start - all you have to do is tell her she won't like something and strangely she will often tell you how great it is so that she can prove you wrong!
The Expert
This is the type of person who is pretty good at things and often has great ideas. The problem is that they are so convinced they are right they often implement a plan without letting anyone in on what they are doing. If you are dealing with an expert you need to ask open questions to get her to understand why a certain action might not be the best. You do not have to justify your position - simply explain it. Another good tactic is give the expert something to do This way you get them out of the way, the person is doing something useful and feels flattered into the bargain. A list of jobs never goes amiss with an expert.
Gladeana McMahon, Fellow Association for Coaching, was listed one of the UK's "Top Ten Coaches" by the Independent on Sunday and Sunday Observer, combining academic rigour with down-to-earth communication skills.
